Video transcript · 25 min · 1,161 words
Small Talk (1929) Our Gang comedy short: transcript
A 1929 comedy short by Robert F. McGowan in which orphanage children react to a friend, Weezer, being adopted. They miss him and sneak into his new home, where they get into trouble. A kind woman then steps in, and the children end up with new homes.
Key points
- At dinner a boy says grace and asks for pie, cake and ice cream instead of spinach.
- The children talk about Weezer being adopted and what it means for Mary, who stays behind.
- A new mother arrives to collect Weezer, and the other children say goodbye.
- Weezer is doted on in his new home, and a doctor is called when he seems feverish.
- The orphanage children slip into the house and cause trouble, and police arrive.
- A woman vouches for the children, and she and her friends offer to adopt them.
Chapters
Full transcript
1:07Listen you guys, I'm gonna sock the first fella that starts to eat while I'm saying grace. Dear Lord, we thank you for all this grub. Beezer, put it out of that biscuit. And dear Lord... Gene, take your hands out of that sugar bowl. And dear Lord, we'd like something else besides spinach once in a while.
1:44We've all been pretty good guys, and we'd like some pie... and some cake and ice cream. So if you could fix it, we'd be awful thankful. Amen. Here, Joseph, you may pass the spinach. Ooh, spinach. Now listen, you children will eat that spinach and like it.
2:18I need your spinach. This is a transcript with proper punctuation. I suppose when Weezer gets adopted, he can have all the seven kind of pies he wants.
2:54And we could have no mama and papa, too. If Weezer's my brother, and Weezer gets a mama and papa, will Mary have a mama and papa, too? How about it, Mary? I don't just know, Joe. I gotta stay here. And they're going to take Weezer away. A long distance away. According to law, that'll make Weezer your distant relative, won't Mary?
3:27Yeah, like that distant cousin of mine. The more distant, the better. My new mom and Papa going to buy me a pony and I'll fit him on my... Thank you very much. And you'll have a big bed all to your shop. Go to sleep.
3:59I dream that you get up and eat pie in bed, mmmm, mmmm, mmmm, I was crying. Gosh, Mary, them kids thought you were crying for a minute, but you're laughing, ain't ya? Yeah. You're glad because Weezer's gonna have a mama and papa, ain't ya? Yeah. Well, I wouldn't worry none about that. Weezer's gonna get along fine.
4:35But who's going to wipe his nose when he catches a cold? Oh, he won't catch no cold. He'll sleep in a warm house. I wonder if there are some... to sleep with him. He gets awful scared at night and everything. Oh sure, they'll have a butler to sleep with him. Butlers like to do that.
5:16It's a wiener. You. Here they are. They're coming. Don't forget to say, yes, ma'am, and no, ma'am. Thank you, Mrs. Brown. I came for my little boy. Is he ready?
5:54Just a moment. They're just finishing dinner. I'll call him. Marius, we've already... Bye, we'll see you again sometime. Oh, there he is. Oh, darling, come here. Oh, my sweet boy. He's my own son now, forever and ever and ever.
6:28Yes, I'm your new mama. Did you get my new shotgun? Yes, I got your new shotgun. And I got your aeroplane and everything. Say goodbye to Mrs. Brown now. Goodbye. Goodbye, Weezer. Goodbye, Mrs. Brown, and thank you so much. Surely that's all right. You'll be good to him. Oh, yes, indeed. And Joe, just give him some text.
8:18That was a beautiful prayer for all your little friends at the orphan's home. There, come on beside me. Oh, my sweet boy. Isn't he a little bit ticklish is what I want to know, isn't he? It's quite hard.
9:10He's the sweetest little fellow in the world. But you know, he hasn't seemed very happy lately. Perhaps he misses his little sister you were telling us about. Perhaps. But girls, you don't know what happiness is until you have a baby. You really ought to adopt one. Well, I've been considering that. What do you say? That's your first date. I'm just doing two strings, but it's a date. One time. Replay. Number, please.
10:27So have I, since I've seen that lovely child of yours. Oh, he is such a sweetheart. Why, please, dear, what is it? You don't feel well, darling?
10:59Oh, he has a little fever. I think if you'll excuse me, I'll put him to bed and call the doctor. It may be serious. Surely, surely. Come on, lamby. What is it? He's been acting strange for about a week, doctor. You don't think there's anything serious, do you? Has his diet been regular? Oh, yes. May I want a tongue? Oh! Why? Why? You tickle me! Well, let's see his little tongue.
11:33Say, oh! Yes, let's try once more. Now say... Thank you. Boy, this is a swell dump, isn't it? Use that up now. Goose me in. You holler if the cops get after you.
12:10We might get picked for a highway jacket. Oh no, we don't get pinched. Come on now, let's try it once more. Oh, mother, won't you be jealous one time? What?
13:04Well, I guess he's all right. I think so. Yes. Well, I'll be going along. Thank you very much, Doctor. Goodbye, Weezer. I'd like to stay here this afternoon and take care of Weezer.
13:58Of course you may. Now then, I have to hurry downstairs to see my guest, but I'll be back soon. You'd be good. Woo! This was a bird.
15:13Hey, Pete, this bird's dead. He ain't been doing no. Which one? It's a good day.
15:48This is a transcript. Oh, that's a parrot.
16:51It's open to me. Yeah. It's a fetus. ...the penitentiary and hang without delay.
20:22You know what they could do to you kids for breaking in this house? No. We're gonna hang every one of you. Did you kids turn in all these firing police arms around here? Yes, but I... That's right. Come on, let's take them out. Oh, no, just a minute, officer.
20:53I think I know what's the matter here. If you leave them with me, I'll be responsible. Why, certainly, Mrs. Dutty. Anything you say. Well, boys, let's go home. There's nothing to it. Why, Helen, what seems to be the trouble here? Well, you see, these children ran away from the orphan asylum to play with their little friend, Weezer, and I'm afraid they got into trouble. The poor little dear. Girl, do you remember what you were saying this afternoon about adopting a baby? Oh, yes. Well, now's your chance to do something really nice.
21:26I think I will. So will I. I'd like to. Come, darling. Would you like to be my little girl? Yes. Yes, forever and ever. And how would you like to come home with me? Oh, boy, would I? Wouldn't feed me spinach, would ya? Just pie and cake. Say, lady, you haven't been looking for a loose boy, have ya? I'd like to be a family man, too. No, sweetheart, I'm afraid not.
22:04If you... See anybody who wants a little girl, will you let me know? Somebody does want you, sweetheart. I do. You're going to stay right here with Weezer. Oh, am I? Of course you are. Oh, goody, goody. This is a transcript with proper punctuation.
23:32Honey lamb, so you can take a good look at your new mammy. You just stay off. Thank you very much.
Source and licence
Recording: File:Small Talk (1929).webm by Robert F. McGowan (1929), via Wikimedia Commons. Licence: Public domain.
The transcript is machine speech-to-text by the TidyTools Audio & video transcriber; the summary, key points and chapters were written by Claude from that transcript. Both may contain errors: check the recording before quoting it.